I walked past a child talking back at his mom a few days ago and for the rest of the day all I could think of was that scene. Mother and child in a war of words, decibels rising....  the child kept quiet at some point, but it was clear that it wasn’t over at least not for this boy of about 16 years of age.

I found myself thinking in a direction that shocked even me. What does the child do with all the pent up anger and other emotions in him? What does it lead to eventually? Do we take time to hold real conversation without pre-made up minds? Owning up to our own mistakes and apologising, do we do that at all?

In a society where emphases are laid more on the academic intelligence of our wards, expectations are so high on what grades we expect from them... that they learn the other aspects of life only when we “clamour” instructions at them. The term result sheets usually have a comments column where teachers would write observations about how the child has fared through the term, do you go through it? Or as a teacher do you give same comment for every child, not taking time to make candid comments on your observations?

We need to let our wards learn some basic traits they need. The corporate world calls it Emotional Intelligence; the capability of individuals to recognize their own, and other people's emotions, to discern between different feelings and label them appropriately, to use emotional information to guide thinking and behaviour, and to manage and/or adjust emotions to adapt to environments or achieve one's goal(s). It is an integral part of capacity building.  What to do when things are not going your way, how to make the most of unpleasant situations, how to handle disappointments, how to live with an ailment or some physical handicap, when and how to speak...are all part of education.

Bottled up emotions are a disaster waiting to happen. They surely will be expressed either during shouting or anger feats, through throwing tantrums, being defiant, stubborn or outright disobedience, and sometimes ends in suicidal thoughts or suicide itself.  Not ruling out the downward spiral into vices that end up as addictions and may become life threatening.

Create a balance between academic excellence and behavioural stability. There are underlining reasons to every action and reaction, as parent it takes tact to understand and respond accordingly.